Monday, December 11, 2006

Take The 'A' Train

Before I get into the gist of this entry, let me explain the superficial appearance of breaking from the pattern of using Chicago songs as entry titles. Well, Chicago did do an album of big band covers, and "Take The 'A' Train" was on it, so that's your explanation right there...although there's currently no such thing in Chicago as an "'A' train."

Back on May 21, 2006, I thought that I had discovered the loudest place in the world: under the L tracks on Diversey when a Red Line train goes by. Well...I was wrong. The loudest place on Earth is actually on Diversey under the L tracks when two Red Line trains go by. If you ever want tintinnitis, you know where to go. Anyway, I just wanted to share some thoughts on the CTA "L" system (or "el", if you prefer), which I use almost every day, starting with some complaints I have.

It's kind of screwy that the L pretty much just goes north and south. For example...I live about ten miles due east of O'Hare. If I want to take a train to O'Hare, I have to take the Red Line to the South Loop and transfer to the Blue Line...in other words, go about eight miles south, then go eight miles northwest. I know, I can take a bus, but the problem is that a bus can only go as fast as traffic allows it, and you never know what traffic will be like at any given time. Hopefully the proposed Circle Line will take care of this in part.

Also, according to the system maps and schedules, the Red Line runs "every five minutes or less" during rush hour. I'd like to believe that, but I usually have to wait at least 15 minutes for my morning train. This past Thursday, I got to my Red Line platform at 8:30am. I arrived at work at 9:35am. My train trip to work is usually twenty minutes. My train trip on Thursday was twenty minutes. In case you can't figure out my implication, I waited THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES for my Red Line train that's supposed to come every five minutes or less. No explanations on the electronic sign, no announcements from CTA personnel, nothing on the CTA web site that indicated there'd be a problem. Thanks for making me wait for a train 20 feet in the air on an 8-degree day, CTA! Way to go!

One thing I've been wondering: why is the Red Line backwards? What I mean is that it's elevated in the parts of the city that aren't exciting to look at, but it's subway in the parts of the city that you want to see? I guess maybe there just isn't enough room to elevate the Red Line downtown??

And it amazes me how many seemingly stupid folk there are that take the L trains. Take these examples:

CTA L Stupidity Example #1

Now, let me ask you something...let's say you're taking the L to a Cubs game, and almost every passenger on the train is wearing Cubs jerseys and carrying Cubs fan paraphernalia. The train comes to a stop, and everybody wearing Cubs jerseys and carrying Cubs fan paraphernalia gets off. What do you do? Do you stay in the train, or get off? Well, let me tell you what a couple of geniuses did this past summer. I was taking the Brown Line to the Old Town School of Folk Music, and I was one of few people in the packed car who did not have any Cubs stuff. The Brown Line got to Belmont, and everybody with Cubs gear exited the train...except for a coupla women who were obviously going to the Cubs game, judging from their conversation. So the other Cubs fans get off at Belmont, undoubtedly to transfer to the Red Line, which actually has a Wrigley Field stop. (Speaking of which, that's another complaint I have -- why do the Sox have a Red Line stop with their NAME on it, while the Addison Red Line stop lets you off right at Wrigley Field but the Cubs don't have their name as part of the stop?) After the Brown Line pulls away on its way to Southport, one of those two women said, "What stop are we supposed to get off to get to the Cubs game?" A kid behind them overheard the conversation and said, "You should have gotten off at this last stop." ugghh...

CTA L Stupidity Example #2

This happens to me on cold days...I take the escalator up to the Red Line platform, and what's greeting me right at the top of the escalator? Why, a crowd of people trying to keep warm! Uhhh...dumbass, you just do not block the top of an escalator! Yes, it was cold out, but the station does have a heated enclosure that actually works quite well!

CTA L Stupidity Example #3

I see this every day, southbound on the Brown Line. People are on the platform obviously waiting to go to the Loop. "Okay, I need to take the Brown Line to Merchandise Mart/LaSalle Street Station/Washington/whatever...ah! Here's a train!...oh, wait...no, it's a Purple Line train; I can't take this one." Uhhmm....from Belmont to the Loop, the Purple Line makes the exact same stops as the Brown Line. Yeah, the Brown Line goes counterclockwise around the loop (and as a bit of Chicago trivia -- is the only L line that goes counterclockwise), but for God's sakes, it'll take just as long, if not longer, to wait for the train that goes in the rotation you prefer! (And come to think of it, Merchandise Mart is before the Loop anyway!)

CTA L Stupidity Example #4

People are really good at doing this at the Belmont stop: attempting to walk in front of people who are already inches away from the track. Uhhh, hello? Electrified rails below?? Maybe you don't want to walk in front of someone who's already close to the edge of the platform?

CTA L Stupidity Example #5

I don't know if this is so much stupidity as it is ignorance and annoyance, but I can't stand people who get off the train and exit through the turnstiles rather than the iron maidens. Few things bother me more than when I try to go through the turnstile to get to the platform but I can't because crowds of people are exiting there when they could go to the maidens, where people aren't trying to enter. I've missed trains because of that.

CTA L Stupidity Example #6

Again, this might be more ignorance than stupidity, but several times I've seen someone sprint up to an L platform and attempt -- and fail -- to board an L train before it leaves...meanwhile running past an open door that was right next to the top of the stairs. WAKE UP!

Why I Actually Like The CTA L Sytem

Overall, though, it's a good system...at least, coming from a guy who's used to the New York subway system. If you've taken an MTA subway, you know what I'm talking about -- filthy, rat-infested, and acoustically nightmarish. I was shocked when I first rode the L to work and was able to hear the announcements clearly! And not only were the announcements clear, but they also told you on which side the doors open! Whoa! Sure beats the muffled mumbling of MTA, although over Thanksgiving week this year I did take the subway in NYC, and they're starting to modernize some of the cars...however, I can't help but feel that CTA's simple "Doors closing!" announcement is more settling than the MTA's psychopathic clownlike "Staaaaand clear of the clo-o-o-osing doors, pleeeeease!" announcement.

You see some interesting things from the L, too. There are great views of the downtown skyline. You get a feel for where things are located. And heck, one morning on my way to work I saw a bunch of homeless people passing a joint around in an abandoned parking lot.

And let's see...I got my current car in September 2004, and from that time to about two years later I put 55,000 miles on the car from driving to work. Now, I rarely drive anywhere thanks to the L. It's nice filling up the tank once a month as opposed to twice a week.

Maybe it's not that bad that there really aren't any east-west L trains. I mean, at least the L goes to most of the important places in this city. You can get to many colleges and universities, both major league baseball parks, many downtown and uptown theaters, cool restaurants in River North, museums, and several Walgreen's locations on the Red Line. The Brown and Purple Lines will take you to Lincoln Park, DePaul (both Lincoln Park and downtown campi), both branches of the Old Town School of Folk Music, Merchandise Mart, Harold Washington Library, and at least one Billy Goat Tavern. Both airports in Chicago are L stops. The only important place I can think of that isn't within reasonable walking distance of the L is United Center.

Now, about the Red Line not coming for half an hour...well, a few days later, I got to the top of my Red Line stop at 8:43 -- I was really running late...yet I got to work on time for 9:00!

And when you take the Red Line past Andersonville, do you have to fight the temptation, when the recorded announcement says "Berwyn is next," to yell "Berrrrrrwyn?!" Believe me, I have to fight that urge with all my soul!

Finally, I'd like to announce my picks for...

BEST AND WORST OF THE CHICAGO TRANSIT AUTHORITY L SYSTEM


Best CTA rail line: Brown Line, aka "Skidmark." The trains are clean, they go to really cool places, and the southbound view of the skyline (especially on a clear night) near the Sedgwick stop is breathtaking.

Worst CTA rail line: Blue Line. Stations are filthy, and it goes through some pretty questionable neighborhoods. And so far the only line on which I heard someone saw a rat fall from the ceiling. Also, ever since the Pink Line happened, many people have reported that their Blue Line trips have come to an excruciating crawl.

Most Useless CTA rail line: Yellow Line. First of all, who the hell wants to go to Skokie? Second of all, who the hell wants to go to Skokie but not Old Orchard?

Smoothest CTA rail line: Orange Line. Makes sense, as it's the newest line, new rails. Nice zippy trip to Midway.

Most Useless L Station: Wellington. Really, nobody ever gets off on Wellington, and I don't think I've ever needed more than one hand's worth of fingers to count the number of people who board the train at Wellington. For God's sake, it's no more than a quarter mile from the next L stop, and there's nothing around there to do! Really, the rail system would benefit if they just eliminate this stop.

Most Annoying L Stop: Library-State/Van Buren. Why? Well, take one of the elevateds around the loop, and listen to the pleasant sounds of the recorded announcements:
Library. State and Van Buren is next. Doors open on the right at Library. State and Van Buren. Transer to Red and Blue Line trains at Library. State and Van Buren......This is Library. State and Van Buren. Transfer to Red and Blue Line trains at Li--

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGRGRHHHHRHRRHGGHH!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!

Coolest L Stop: For me, it's a tie between the Brown Line Western stop in Lincoln Square and the Quincy stop on the Brown and Purple Lines. Western is huge and quite modern, and Quincy is old-fashioned and quite charming. A close second is Roosevelt, connecting the Red Line to the Orange and Green Lines -- it's hard to beat the Museum Campus eye candy on the walls; really nifty!

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