Saturday, November 03, 2007

The Master Doesn't Approve

This past Friday night my wife and I took in the penultimate performance of "Manos" The Rock Opera of Fate at the National Pastime Theater uptown. Because the show's final performance has already passed, I realize that it's too late to say this, but...if you missed it, you didn't miss much -- you would have saved the $15, so use that to buy a Mystery Science Theater 3000 DVD instead; you'll have an enjoyable performance to watch whenever you want.

My impetus for going was that many years ago, my friend Jim and I talked about writing a musical version of the 1966 film "Manos" The Hands of Fate. We didn't get much work done on it at all because I moved to New Jersey and stayed there for eight years, and when I moved back last summer, we never did resume our work, so we were beaten to it. Also, my wife is taking classes at Second City, and her instructor recommends taking in as much improv and silly theater as possible.

So what was wrong with the show? Well, several things. First of all, the theater stinks...literally. Seriously, when we walked in, the first thing that came to my mind was, "Yikes...it smells like New York in here."

Second of all, the writers of this live production felt it necessary to add a "narrator" character, whose job is apparently to provide (sung) recaps of the action that's happened so far, and while the ignorant contents of the narratives are quite amusing at first, they ramble...for too. damn. long. We get the point already!

Third, it was obvious that the purpose of this production was to just get some cheap laughs
by making fun of the movie itself rather than let Harold Warren's unintentionally funny script and directorial vision get the laughs. As a result, the acting was, for the most part, intentionally bad, and the intentional badness was quite distracting. The script was based on the acting rather than the actual script itself.

Fourth, the ending was quite poorly done. After Torgo is massaged to near-death and has his hand burnt off by The Master (who stole the show easily, by the way), the show ends with a very strange film that was very difficult to understand because the picture was so dim that you couldn't see a damn thing, and the volume was turned down so low that if you so much as breathed a bit too heavily, you couldn't hear it. After the film, and some drunken pleading from the "narrator" to end the show Broadway style, the cast -- all of whom are in Torgo costumes -- comes out and ends with a Les Mis parody. That's right -- Maggie and Debbie don't become The Master's wives...although I can't fault the writers for that, as "disturbing" doesn't even begin to be an appropriate way to descibe the original ending. (I realize now that I might have the end a little bit out of order, but I'm not sure; that just proves my point that had this production been done well, I'd be able to describe the ending more accurately.)

Fifth, the songs weren't really any good. A good musical has many songs that, upon hearing once, you can remember 'em on your trip back home. No showstopping musical numbers, either.

Sixth, Torgo didn't convert very well to the stage. Any Manos aficionado knows that Torgo is a satyr and in the movie has cloven hoofs (hidden in the MST3k version by the theater seats), but he wore shoes in this production. The actor portraying Torgo actually played the part quite well, although I don't think he portrayed Torgo creepily enough. He seemed too...clean, I guess. And there wasn't nearly enough use of, as Crow T. Robot called it, "the haunting Torgo theme." Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember in the movie that we hear the music practically every time Torgo walks; in this production, however, it was used only twice, both in the same scene.

Seventh, there was too much use of profanity. Don't get me wrong -- to me, using the word "shit" is just as legitimate as using the "feces" -- it doesn't mean anything different; it just has a different etymology ("feces" being from the upper-class language of Latin; "shit" from the low-class Anglo-Saxon language, which is why it got such a negative connotation over the centuries). My wife explained it better, I think: "Hey, let's use the word 'fuck' a lot because we're North Siders and we read the Red Eye and go to the bars they talk about on MetroMix! Yeah, let's do it because we can and because we're a little theater group and we want to be silly!" Really, profane language has its place in theater -- or really any other situation -- but using it just for the sake of using it just plain gets old.

Was the show a complete waste of time? Not really. The Master, in my opinion, was the highlight of the show, with the character's unintentionally funny lines and treating his hound-of-hell dog like a puppy. The Masters' wives' bickering was an amusing duplicate of the equivalent from the movie. And we get to see Torgo's bedroom briefly, including a High School Musical poster on his wall, a calendar of kitten pictures, a picture of Torgo with President Clinton, and a word-a-day calendar featuring today's word, "plethora." (Interestingly, however, no bed -- poor Torgo was forced to sleep on the floor, and because of his knee problem, had to struggle to stand up -- when he did, the audience roared with applause.) And you gotta love this (paraphrased from memory) dialog when Torgo was arguing with The Master about the wives: "But you have a...[looks at word-a-day calendar] plethora...of wives!"

But overall, the production was kind of an insult. The greasy living-with-the-parents audience that was there that night also didn't help things, very loudly screaming in applause with every...little...thing...that they recognized from the movie, especially the "haunting Torgo theme." My impression is that some wise guy thought it would be funny to turn Manos into a musical, then very haphazardly threw a script together and tossed together some forgettable songs. And the title is misleading -- "Manos" Rock Opera of Fate is neither an opera, nor does it have any rock in it at all. DVDs are available for sale, though, if you're morbidly curious. I don't know if they're sold online, but that's what Yahoo is for; find it! I certainly don't want to waste my time looking for it.

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